Whataboutism: What It Is, Examples and How to Respond
Also called: whataboutery, what about you, counter-accusation
Updated · 5 min read · 5 sources
The short answer
Whataboutism is answering a criticism with a counter-accusation instead of a response: 'What about the time you...' The other person's faults may be real, but they don't make the original criticism wrong. It's a way of changing the subject, and in personal arguments it turns one problem into a contest over who has done worse.
What is whataboutism?
Whataboutism is the move of deflecting a criticism by pointing to something else that's wrong, usually something the critic did. The criticism is never actually answered. Instead, attention shifts to a new accusation, and the first speaker is suddenly on defense.
The word is associated with the Cold War, when Soviet officials routinely answered Western criticism of human rights abuses by pointing to problems in the West. An Australian journalist used the term in print in 1978, and the British journalist Edward Lucas brought it into wide use in the 2000s. Today it describes the same move anywhere: in politics, online, and at the kitchen table.
Whataboutism vs. tu quoque: what's the difference?
The two are close relatives and often get used as synonyms, but there's a useful difference. Tu quoque (Latin for 'you too') points out that the critic does the same thing: 'You say I'm on my phone too much, but you're on yours all the time.' Its aim is to disqualify the critic as a hypocrite.
Whataboutism is broader. It answers with any counter-accusation, usually about a different issue: 'You're upset I forgot the dishes? What about you forgetting my mom's birthday?' Its aim is to move the spotlight. Tu quoque is really a special case: a whataboutism about the very same behavior.
Both share the same flaw. Even if the counter-accusation is completely true, it doesn't show the original criticism is false. Two problems can exist at once. Whataboutism is also a kind of red herring, since it changes the subject.
Whataboutism examples
Why whataboutism takes over couple arguments
In long relationships, both people have a stock of old grievances, and whataboutism draws from it. A complaint about dishes becomes a tally of every unfair moment in the past year. Nobody wins a scoring contest, and the dishes stay dirty.
Couples researchers would call this a form of defensiveness. The Gottman Institute gives the example of a partner who answers a reminder about a missed phone call by asking why the other person didn't just do it, reversing the blame. Defensiveness feels like self-protection, but it tells the other person their concern doesn't count. When it becomes a habit, it shades into blame shifting.
When 'what about...' is a fair point
Not every 'what about' is a dodge. If you're setting a shared rule, both people's behavior is relevant: a rule about phones at dinner should apply to both of you. If the counter-point is actually the cause of the first problem ('I didn't fold the laundry because the dryer's been broken since you used it'), it's an explanation, not a deflection.
And if the same grievances keep coming back, they probably need their own conversation. The fix isn't to ban 'what about'; it's to handle one issue at a time and promise the other one a real hearing.
Whataboutism examples
The tell is the pivot from answering to accusing:
- 'You're mad I was late? What about when you made us miss the movie?'
- 'Sure, I raised my voice. What about the way you talk to my sister?'
- 'Why are you on me about grades? What about your messy room in college?'
- 'I'll stop leaving cups out when you stop leaving shoes everywhere.'
How to respond to whataboutism
Agree that the other issue can be discussed, then decline to switch: 'That's fair, and we can talk about it. Can we finish this one first?' Saying 'both things can be true' takes the heat out of the score keeping without conceding your point.
If you catch yourself doing it, the repair is simple: name it and answer the original point. And if you're not sure whether a reply was a deflection or a fair explanation, our free argument judge looks at whether each reply engaged with what was raised.
What to say
That might be fair, and I'm willing to talk about it. Can we finish this one first?
Both things can be true. I'm not trying to keep score. Right now I'm asking about the laundry.
Let's give that its own conversation tomorrow so it gets a real hearing.
You're right, I just changed the subject. About the noise: I'll use headphones after eleven.
In an argument right now?
Type both sides and get a fair verdict, with the fallacies on each side. Free.
Questions people ask
What is an example of whataboutism?
A partner says 'You were rude to my friend tonight' and the reply is 'What about how you ignored my coworkers last month?' The reply raises a different issue instead of answering the first.
What is the difference between whataboutism and tu quoque?
Tu quoque says 'you do the same thing' to paint the critic as a hypocrite. Whataboutism answers with any counter-accusation, often about something different. Tu quoque is a special case of whataboutism.
Is whataboutism always a fallacy?
It's a fallacy when the counter-accusation is offered as if it answered the criticism. Raising a related issue to set a fair shared rule, or explaining an actual cause, is legitimate.
Where does the word whataboutism come from?
It's tied to Cold War propaganda, when criticism of the Soviet Union was routinely answered with 'what about' Western problems. Journalists used the word in the 1970s, and it spread widely in the 2000s.
Sources
Keep reading
- FallaciesTu Quoque FallacyTu quoque (Latin for 'you too') is a fallacy that dismisses a criticism by pointing out that the critic does the same thing: 'You can't tell me to stop vaping, you smoked for ten years.' The critic may well be a hypocrite, but that doesn't make the advice wrong. It's also called the appeal to hypocrisy.
- FallaciesRed Herring FallacyA red herring fallacy is a reply that switches to a different topic, one that sounds related but doesn't answer the question, so the original point quietly drops out. The new topic may be important, even true. It still leaves the first issue unresolved. The name comes from a story about using a smelly fish to throw hounds off a trail.
- GuidesDefensiveness in RelationshipsDefensiveness in relationships means protecting yourself from a complaint with excuses, counter-complaints or wounded innocence instead of hearing it. It is one of John Gottman's Four Horsemen, and nearly everyone does it. The antidote is to accept responsibility for at least part of the problem, which lets the conversation move forward.
- GuidesBlame ShiftingBlame shifting is moving responsibility for your own action onto someone else, so the conversation becomes about their fault instead of yours: "I only yelled because you provoked me." Everyone does it occasionally when they feel attacked. As a habit, blame shifting keeps problems unsolved and can slide into manipulation.
- GuidesDeflection in ArgumentsDeflection is redirecting attention away from something uncomfortable, usually your own behavior, so it never gets discussed. In an argument it looks like changing the subject, bringing up an old fight, joking it off or turning the question back on the other person. Deflection protects the person for a moment and leaves the problem untouched.
The ArgueResolver app · iPhone and Android
Record the argument. Get the verdict.
ArgueResolver listens while you talk it out, works out who said what, and gives an honest verdict on what was actually said, with compromises and steps to fix it.
Free to start · See how it works
